Today, as we sat in the canteen for lunch, a colleague came by an joined us. She’s a pretty, sweet, and intelligent woman and so, we were not offended when she asked for permission to sit down to lunch with us.
Well, thereafter, as usual, we bitched about work, about the company in general, and about project managers in particular. The conversation is really not worth mentioning here. It was dull bitchy stuff that any worthwhile employee keeps running into and proceeds to run with.
Anyway, while we were at it, this colleague mentioned something that has stuck in my memory. She happened to mention that she was not all that into spirituality but she has been dabbling with texts written by these modern self-styled gurus.
She told us she was reading a book by Deepak Chopra and he had mentioned something about approval – or the lack of it.
“So,” she said, “I am not all that spiritual, but that guy said – you know – do what you want to and don’t look for approval. I think that’s best and I seem to have adopted that principle. I just don’t bother to be approved by people.”
Approval. That’s what makes me miserable day in and out. I want to be approved by other people. I want them to nod, smile, and approve of what I am doing. It’s pathetic I know. But then, pathos seems to have been the order of my life since God knows when!
I think I need to put an end to this whole cycle of approval that sits rather comfortably in the scheme of my thoughts. You see I realize even my thought process has incorporated approvals!
I need to get out of this, really. It’s not what I ever want to be remembered for.
